Life Really Is Too Short
The First One
This week I received some bad news. 2 days ago I answered a phone call from a friend of mine, concerning another friend of mine. The news was the worst possible: he had taken his life the night before. He was in his early 40s.
I was devastated: I had worked with him years earlier in trying to help him, but it seemed that nothing I could do – nor anyone else, for that matter – would stick.
Maybe years ago I might have started second-guessing myself, asking if there’s more I could have done, or perhaps started telling myself I should have reached out more to try and help. Not today, however. I know that I did what I could, and that ultimately what happened was out of my control.
It didn’t take the pain away, however. I’m still going to miss him, and I think the world will be a poorer place for his not being in it.
The Second One
The bad news didn’t stop there. Yesterday I received a text from an ex-client of mine who has since become a friend. She’s also in her early 40s, and about 1 ½ months ago had begun experiencing both stomach and back pain. The results of her tests came in: stage 4 cancer, probably lung. She’s never really been a smoker, either.
What to Do?
I’m powerless to change anything to do with either of these situations. I wish I could. I wish I could bring my friend back, but have him back happy, full of both joy and of the will to live life to the fullest. I wish I could offer a cure to my other friend as well. I can’t do any of this, however. Frustrating, this feeling of powerlessness.
There is something I can do, however. There’s a couple of things, actually.
Be There For Others
As human beings, I’m convinced our primary role is to be of service to others. I know that the person who called me to tell me that my friend had taken his life is hurting. He was this person’s best friend, and roommate. He was the one who found him in the morning. He’s hurt, shocked and traumatized, and is feeling very confused. I can be there for him. I’ve offered myself to him in that capacity.
I can do the same for my ex-client/friend as well. I can support her, can be a listening ear, and can just be there to offer whatever comfort and support she needs. She, too, is traumatized, shocked, angry and hurt. I can be there for her.
Start Living Life to the Fullest
But more importantly I can start focusing on what’s really important, and stop focusing on what’s not.
I just looked at my calendar – it’s full: jammed full. With what? With work. Marketing. Paperwork. Banking. Training. Program writing. Studying and reading. Work, work, work. Over 60 hours of it this week alone. Barely any time for me, for my dogs, for my partner, for my parents, for the things that really matter.
This simply has to stop.
How about you? Does it take an event like the ones I’ve described to cause you to take pause and ask yourself what life is really about? Do we even take pause, even when these events happen? Or do we just shake our heads, murmur a mild “tsk tsk,” and say something like “It’s such a shame.”
We really don’t know how much time we have left. This could be my last day. Have I said everything I need to say to those I need to say it to? Have I done everything that needs to be done – the important stuff, that is – that makes a difference in my life and the lives of those I know and care about?
If I’m honest, I have to say no. And that disappoints me. Time to change, time to get real with what’s important. Time to start doing the things I really want to do, things that will make a real difference, in both my life, and the lives of others.
What Will You Do?
I’m going to start today. How about you?
Perhaps you don’t know how. I do – I’ve been trained in this sort of thing – so I just have to get my butt in to gear. But how about you? Do you need help?
If you do, reach out to me for ideas. I’d be happy to discuss possibilities with you. I’m a life coach as well as a nutrition, diet, weight loss and fitness coach as well. I love to help, so please, if you feel it would help, call or e-mail me today: 647-677-6025, or firstname.lastname@example.org.