Why “Keeping the Peace” Could Be Destroying You

Many women who’ve approached me for help with their eating are peacekeepers.  Maybe you’re one?  You sacrifice telling your truth to those around you because you don’t want to “rock the boat,” or “make waves.”

Maybe you figure that if you’re nice enough, quiet enough, agreeable enough, or helpful enough, those around you will continue on happily and everything will be well.

If you’re a peacekeeper – and if you’re honest – you know very well this strategy doesn’t work.  You may be keeping others happy, but inside you’re dying, because you’re not. Why is it your job to keep the rest of the world happy?  Why shouldn’t you get some happiness?

And the truth is, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I just can’t seem to do enough to make others happy.  That’s because happiness is an inside job: it’s my business to create my own, and that means it’s others’ business to create their own.  Abraham Lincoln himself said that “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”  How right he was.

A relationship of any kind is a two-way street.  Business is conducted on this principle: each party receives something from the transaction.  Friendships, intimate relationships and marriages are no different.  They are, in essence, transactional in nature.  They require giving and receiving.  That means that if I’m the one giving all the time, there’s an imbalance.  There’s something wrong, and it shouldn’t continue on that way.

If your needs and desires aren’t being met, then maybe it’s time to ask yourself why not?  Below is a blog I thought was great.  It’s a brief account of one woman’s journey to discovering her truth, and her getting the courage to speak up for herself.  In the end, she takes her power back.

If we’re going to be successful in our weight loss projects, we need to be living in our own power.  Are you living in yours?  Give the blog a read, see if you identify with it, and ask yourself – honestly – if anything needs to change in your life.

As always, feel free to reach out to me for help if you’d like some guidance.  I’ve done a lot of work in this area, both personally, and with others.